Saturday, April 18, 2009

Where were those happy times ?

I miss them ....... I miss the SCC in the past .

Actually i have too much to say to each of you . Perhaps in the next post .

You can say anything about me but i would say i love the SCC in the past .

The fun and happy times . The times when i feel happy inside and outside .

A place where i can play and have fun with anybody . A place where i can share anything to anybody also .

It is like a playground where friends would always welcome me.

But , it had changed too much in just a year .

Right after the announcement of MC , i felt happy for all of you .

When most of you had become MC , all of you are busy . I understand .

All of you bond through that period of time because you are working with each other . I understand .

All of you become best work mates and friends . I understand.

What i don't understand is , why we had become so distant after some of you become MC ?

Never mind . I thought to myself . I still have others right ?

Like PY , my best friend just came in .I did not say anything .

The year started out with people in different cliques . Slowly , it became a phenomenon and then it became normal. We were so distant from each other , even friends.

I started to feel that the sense of belonging is not as strong as before. Perhaps , i felt left out . I don't know exactly what i was feeling , but i know that i don't feel good .

As things started happening , i started to cry .

This kind of feeling lasted for one year .

I felt like a left out . I felt like im way too stupid , talent-less,too ugly ,too evil , un-loved . This felt miserable.

Just when the academic year ended and before we were preparing for concert , Ah ru had left for China . Then came the preparations , then the concert. It was a great time , i always liked the feeling of working together like a big family again . It was the happiest time for me during the year in SCC .

Just when i thought everything was over , they announced the P and VP which i thought was totally predictable . Then they announced the MC .

I dont know why , i felt super duper sad . From happy to extreme emo-ness. I don't know why .

I felt disappointed and betrayed ....

I guessed the cycle would repeat again for a year .....

The only thing i have learnt this year : Everyone changes .

Tell me when would the happy times come again and get me ?

When could i smile when i really mean it ? When could i feel the love again ?

When....