Cows And Chickens

2011-06-18T03:22:00.001+08:00

Gosh !
I feel like eating food again in the middle of the night .
I feel like switching on the aircon and curl inside the bed .

2011-06-18T03:11:00.003+08:00

Who am i to you ?
This has been a question that had been bugging me for so long .
The boundaries had been blurred .
This is a big problem to me .
I dont know how to react in front of you .
It seems that you have certain expectations from me .
I need to know what am i to you before i know how to react .
It is not possible to not think too much cause i have avoided this problem for too long .
I feel that you do not need me in your life .
You can still survive without me around .
I do not wish to disturb you with unimportant stuff when you seem so busy all the time .
I rather not talk .
You will speak to me if you feel there is a need to . Right ?

Facts and Figures

2011-06-14T02:08:00.001+08:00

1. My first time in A&E in my entire life
2. I went to timbre twice .
3. I went sentosa thrice for these 6 months
4. I went ice skating 4 times
5. I know the existence of Famous Amos ever since i was 5 or 6 years old . That was my snacks when i was in school .
6. I traveled 6 countries . ( Taiwan , Thailand , Macau , Hong Kong , China , Malaysia)
7. I had 打工for 7 different companies during holidays over the past few years .
8. For some unknown reason , i love number 8 since young . ( Maybe because 8 looks cute )
9. Ive known Cheryl Chia for like 9 years or more ? ( We sort of met each other ever since primary school due to the same choir instructor , same pap tuition class )
10. I joined choir at the age of 10 . I was CCA-less before that .
11. Hi ! Clique of 11 ( Biggest clique ive ever seen )

2011-05-28T00:43:00.002+08:00

Its not because u are unable to make it or u think that price is not reasonable that makes me angry . Im fine with that cause i think i can understand your perspective.
It is because u broke the promise . Its not once . Its not twice . Its like quite a few times . That makes me pissed off . If you find it weird , i find it even weirder .

The best thing is , it applies to both people .
The worse case is , the other could lie to me .
Im not dumb . Sometimes i could tell what is happening .

I think my life is just screwed up .
Now i wish the earth can just swallow me up forever . FML .

2011-05-26T01:11:00.004+08:00

打工日记 DAY 3

叫不同的口号来通知预备的材料

打奶泡

备好基本 260 , 500 的奶茶

挖冰棋淋

挖珍珠

Yeah ... Thats about it ....

2011-05-25T00:29:00.003+08:00

HO ! 太无聊了 !

我想记录一下打工的状况，就叫它打工日记吧！

打工日记 DAY 1

挖冰棋淋

分配好不同的订单，然后笑着对顾客说谢谢！Kind of happy doing that job ！

最好笑的顾客想来店里点豆奶！ LOL

第一天，时间过的很快。。。。

打工日记 Day 2

挖珍珠，仙草，椰果，曖玉？

然后，根据不同的订单，就要mix and match 。。。还要分，中杯，大杯。。。加珍珠？不加？搞得我很乱，我跟不上他们迅速的步伐，感觉很像在拖累他们。。。 especially 繁忙的时候！ PEAK HOUR ！ I HATE IT ！LOL 。。。

example ：Order ： 3 medium add ai yu plus pearl ， one large cup with coconut and nata de coco ，another medium is hot oolong tea 。。。。 Thats one order。。。 LOL 。。。 Im so sotong liao 。。。。 Confirm confused ！

所以咯，有一点demoralizing 。而且不止是一个订单啊。。。还要顾到那些normal orders 。。。。

I think i got estimation problem 。 Everytime add too much pearls 。。Paralax error 。 I think i kinda pissed off one of the colleagues 。 LOL 。。。

学会用乌龙茶heater machine 。。。。 LOL 。。。 I think that was fun ！

善后处理店里的清洁卫生。。。。洗的很干净啊。。。Ive never done so much cleaning for the last 10 years 。 LOL 。。。。

大致上，应该是这样。。。I cant get used to their speed 。They can do it with such accuracy 。。。太厉害了！

我还满高兴可以学到这么多的东西within 2 days 。。。 But clearly i might have made some colleagues pissed off for being such a slow learner 。 Like wtf 。。。 How come i cannot like work so fast ？？？ WHY ？我现在只能使劲最大的能力to do what they ask me toooo 。。。。 Try my best mah right ？Overcome my limits and stretch it so that i can be better 。

OOH ！今天，有位客人说：“你很可爱！”haha 。。。 Maybe he is talking about my colleague 。 =）

2pm to 10 pm tml 。。 Omg ！ More challenges ahead 。。。 Hope that i survive tml without making anyone pissed off 。。。 Peace ！！！

2011-05-23T02:02:00.001+08:00

Im working later . I feel nothing now . Not really excited but kind of glad that im working because i don wanna slack at home for another holiday .

I think i was too honest in my sms . I should have kept it to myself ,

2011-05-15T02:01:00.003+08:00

=(

I just hope that everyone will forget about this blog . I hope that nobody will read it or see it .

=(

Im kind of disappointed .
Perhaps im thinking too much on my part . Maybe it is really what it is .
But even after so long , friend couldnt even be honest with each other , how was i supposed to know what the other was thinking ?
Perhaps this is the reason why im still so confused .

2011-05-13T00:38:00.000+08:00

i dont like this world . i hate this world now .
I dont want to see anybody's face .
Fake ppl

2011-05-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

Exam is over . I cant help but feel sad . I think i would fail one module surely or in the worse case , two of them . But even if ive failed , i wont be blaming myself or whatever cause i think i did all i can within my ability to try to finish and practise everything .
Fuck the exam dates . They are like a joke . How can i finish studying 2 killer papers within one night . The feeling was like they are trying to make me fail on purpose . Unsurprisingly , i cried and broke down the night before the exams . I simply cant finish them . Its too much . The thing is people had the luxury of like wad ? 2 more days than me ? I had to attend 4 exams within 3 days straight ? Now i feel angry . Like WTH ? This exam is like testing my limits . I broke my record of sleeping one hour on average per day for the 3 exam days . I fainted on my bed that night , i slept 16 hrs straight until the next day at 1pm.
I'm not going to think about it anymore . I did my best already . I just hope that i will pass this exams. Please grant me this wish , if God can hear me .

2011-04-10T17:03:00.002+08:00

Everything is so fake. From the start , i dont even know what is the truth , it feels like the whole world is just staging a play , it may be a fake reality made up by myself . Nothing that anyone tell me can convince me . I cant even convince myself .

2011-04-08T01:02:00.003+08:00

There are waves of insecurity . I feel scared now . Perhaps is the exam stress coming to me . Right , i think is time to study before its too late . Good night .

2011-03-30T02:50:00.002+08:00

I had a lesson under Steven Taylor yesterday . He is super interesting . I never fall asleep in class ! His lesson is too interesting ! KK. Its time that i should reject all outings. I should be back to studying mode . Exams are in less than 1 month . I think. Flying to macau on friday and will be back on Sunday . I will miss Friday's lecture . Wth . ( How can i be such a blur poke to record the class date on the wrong day ???!) Sighhhh ... I dont want to miss the lecture , i bet it will be quite an experience be taught under Rosemary . URGHHHH , Damn guilty la , i dont want to miss the lecture !!! I wanna get back prelim scripts too !

2011-03-20T03:20:00.001+08:00

and OMG ! I havent been studying ! I definitely need to stop going out . But i cant reject . How ?

2011-03-20T03:19:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel abit useless , i cant even cheer a person up .

2011-03-18T22:00:00.002+08:00

Sometimes there are too much things that are going through my mind .
I may be thinking too much . But i cant help it .
These people are too important to me .
I cant ignore these problems.
I cant flare up to call and scream at them about what i was thinking .
It is not their problem . Its just me on my part .
Sometimes i feel neglected. It makes me feel that maybe im not needed in their life anymore . Im just an extra .
Im just insignificant .
Sometimes i just wish that i could forget everything and everyone .

2011-03-18T04:20:00.000+08:00

problems .

2011-03-17T14:01:00.001+08:00

She is AWESOME!!!!

2011-03-17T13:00:00.002+08:00

I'm finally in the right mind to blog now . Not sleepy anymore .
Holidays are here until 29 march .
I wanna go ice-skating , cycling , picnic , star gazing !
Before the real exams starts.
Sighhhh....
But i dont think anybody got time to do that .
I'm sad =(

I guess there are something i should settle now .

2011-03-17T00:48:00.002+08:00

" Holidays" Are here . I wanna go ice skating , cycling , star gazing and more........

2011-03-09T20:20:00.000+08:00

Hug hug =( Hug hug =(
No hug hug =(

2011-03-09T17:24:00.002+08:00

I am Dumb
I am ugly
I am slow
I am selfish
I am childish
I am really dumb
I am really ugly
I am really slow
I am really selfish
I am really childish
I am really insignificant

I had tried . I tried to change myself .
Ive tried to study hoping that some words would cram into my brain .
I tried to tell myself ," it's ok , dont cry ok ? Everything willl be alright ..."
I tried to tell myself , "im a grown up this year , i should act like my age "
I tried to tell myself to be friendlier and not so fierce ....
Ive tried , but still failed .
Sometimes i feel like a failure in life , in every aspect.
Its like there is really nothing good or positive about me.
These are the times when i feel that i should just disappear.

2011-02-21T18:29:00.001+08:00

I feel awful now .
I feel the stress is going to swallow me down .
I cant be normal if i feel like crying all the time .
Help me .

2011-02-20T04:03:00.001+08:00

I cried like nobody's business , i cant breathe properly now .
But it really is no one's business . Cause im alone now.

2011-02-18T00:09:00.002+08:00

Kk . I think i shall say bye bye to facebook and the internet to 闭关修炼 until prelims is over .

2011-02-16T23:22:00.002+08:00

Sometimes , i feel like killing myself .
Because im always saying the wrong things at the wrong time at the wrong place to the wrong person .
I dont mean to hurt people . Im always said it out without thinking or out of anger or rashness.
Im guilty . =(

2011-02-16T00:49:00.002+08:00

Ahhh.... I think i studied too much . My head is heavy now . Damn marketing module ! I hate it ! Urghh . I just screwed up my marketing test yesterday . I looked at the question and stared at it blankly . Wtf . It's open book somemore. I looked at the notes , it seemed like everything doesnt link at all . Im so gonna fail this test . =.=
UuuurrgGGGhhhhh !!!!

Kk .... Think positive . At least fail now better than screw up during actual exam ??
I have to work harder !!!! Prelims are coming soon .

March 2 Poa
March 9 Corporate Finance
March 12 Marketing
March 14 Sociology

Prelims is like in 2 weeks time ?! Ahhhhhhhh !!!!!

Yayyy !!! Cookie !!! Subway taste-alike cookies !!! Thank you !!!

Come to think of it , i have not watched movie for like months ? ( I'm aiming to watch black swan)
Ice - cream deprived for like 3 weeks ? ( Rum& Raisin , Snickers, Nutella )
Koi deprived for like 2 weeks ? ( Honeeeyyy Greeen Teaa)
La mian deprived for like 2 weeks ?
Dessert deprived for like %&^T&*T%$%#$%# ? ( Steamed egg with 姜汁, herbal jelly)
I miss Everything with fries food too .... Ahhhh
=( I hate exams !

2011-02-14T00:37:00.001+08:00

I think im koi deprived again . Wth

2011-02-14T00:28:00.001+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day !

AHHH MARKETING AGAIN ?! Can i just deactivate my facebook account ? Then i wont get distracted so easily le.

Urghhh !

2011-02-13T01:27:00.002+08:00

I think my fren's photography skills is really amazing !
I think the rose she took was really prettyyyy !
She posted it on facebook .
But i only found one picture of it .
Where are the others???
I wanna see the rose !!

2011-02-10T11:59:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time .
I should go random walk on my own .

2011-02-10T10:53:00.002+08:00

Will you break down these walls and pull me through ?

2011-02-09T01:23:00.002+08:00

I think i should study tomorrow to clear away all the stupid thoughts .
I ought to study too , Exams are coming =(
Next week got marketing quiz t2 to t10 . I haven even touch , i need a study session partner to encourage each other .
=( I need MORE TIMEEEEEEEE !

2011-02-09T00:48:00.001+08:00

=(

I爆炸liao...
When i get hurt , i should walk back to my cave and hide .
So that i can recover.

2011-02-08T10:52:00.001+08:00

I haven't got what i wanted to ask . =(

2011-02-07T20:57:00.001+08:00

2011-02-03T22:50:00.001+08:00

I should not be overly dependent on people right?
Its not right .
Cause one day they will leave me too .
And i will be on my own .

2011-02-02T15:18:00.001+08:00

Seriously i feel like slapping myself . I took like 3 hours to do half an assignment because im too distracted to do anything .
CHERYL YONGGGGGGG !!!!!! Concentrate on your assignment first !!! Before u go play !
*Slap slap *

Rabbits are cute !

2011-02-02T11:58:00.007+08:00

That is miffy and Mashimaro ! They look super adorable and cuddly !!!

Happy New Year Everyone !!

2011-02-02T03:04:00.001+08:00

Is there anybody who can tell me , how to change myself ?

2011-02-02T02:19:00.002+08:00

Its 238am now . Im a bit sleepy and i dont think i can express myself well in this sleepy mode .

Grandma had food poisoning and they sent her to hospital . She is back home now resting . Thank God ! If not this year there will be no new year celebration .

I think ive got issues with myself .
I think i always misinterprete peoples' action ,
I think ive always got the wrong idea .
Its like people asked you things out of courtesy (意思意思only) , yet i took it for granted .
Cause i thought we are like good friends , yet i dont think to my friend , we are .
Come to think of it , it feels like im abit thick-skinned arhhhh ....
Then i feel sad now .
Why i become like this ?
I dont want to be a thick skinned girl =(
I feel like running back to my own cave again and never come out .
Because everything i do , i just make a joke out of myself .
I might as well run back to my cave , so that nobody can find me , so i dont know anyone ......
Then i can live a simple life with bear bear and no one else .
Then i wont feel malu if i did something embarrassing or if i did something wrong .

2011-02-02T00:09:00.001+08:00

This song is too nice =(

2011-01-30T02:30:00.002+08:00

I want to believe that there is something good in everyone .
There is no point harping on the bad points .
Right ?
KK Don say anymore le ....

Ahhh The feeling of slacking in studio and staring at the ceiling is so shiok !
I dont feel like doing anything . Just stone . This is like quality time for yourself despite of busy schedule .

I want to watch movie ! But broke sia =(

2011-01-29T01:01:00.002+08:00

Im tired of trying my best everyday .
I need a shoulder to lean on .
I need a listening ear .
I need someone to be there .
But its too difficult to find a suitable one .
Or does anyone even bother ?

2011-01-27T23:10:00.000+08:00

Can i just give up and walk away ?

Because im tired of everything .

2011-01-24T20:16:00.002+08:00

I humiliated myself today =(

I fell in the bus with 2 loud thuds . Thats not the end . I didnt bring ezlink card . I had to ask people if they had $2 change . Everyone looked at me and told me no without even trying to look into their wallets . I felt helpless really . Until the 2 kind souls gave me $2 change .
I sat down and realized my left leg was bleeding . A patch of skin scrapped off . I started crying uncontrollably . Its not about malu , i fell so many times before . Im sad because no one was willing to help me , they just stared . Stared . Then looked away and pretend that nothing happened .
I had to force myself to smile and asked if they had change when i really felt terrible inside . None of them offered to help . WTF man . FML . Up till now i still feel terribly sad .
I wish that i dont exist today or can i just lose memory of today ? Its not worth remembering . It just make me depress.

2011-01-24T11:31:00.002+08:00

偶像真厉害 ! 她写简单的几首歌就能唱出此刻复杂的情绪。
Haixxxx :<
连翻唱都超有魅力的！

HOHHHH ! Saturday is just pure eventful . I went running with the maid . Went home with allergy or rashes that look like mosquito bites all over my body . Its like whole face , neck , ears ,my hands and tummy area all got the bites . Its swollen . My family still want to take me to hospital ! Lol ! Lucky it subsided ....Heheheh
Went to see a doc on Sunday morning , doc said that its just unknown allergy to something . Nothing serious .... I wonder what am i allergic to ?

2011-01-23T22:14:00.002+08:00

My auntie has went jakarta for work , im all alone in the dark room tonight . =(
I slack too much today didnt even read marketing or do its tutorial =(
What do u expect me to say when u are in a foul mood ? =(
Im sad =(

2011-01-21T20:29:00.002+08:00

There are times im still in denial .
Sometimes i wonder , have things changed ?
I cant convince myself .
Im always questioning myself .
Im always negative as usual .
As a result , i made myself sad .

2011-01-17T23:05:00.001+08:00

I think she is really good ! Like phwoar .... I just stared at her videos .

2011-01-13T01:58:00.003+08:00

The pressure is seeping in again . Like raindrops seeping through the leaking roof .
Sighhh ...
I'm a dumb kid i guess .
I think i need koi as an antidote .

2011-01-12T01:26:00.002+08:00

T.T Exams sucks . It sucks even more to have both modules going on on the same day !

Things i need for New Year :

A pair of shoes
A big big brown leather bagpack
Grey colour faded jeans .
Hoodie ?

Thats all ...

2011-01-10T00:59:00.002+08:00

Its such a struggle to be a nice person really .
I can totally use sociology to explain this .

Imagine that you are in a room ,

There are like 2 person only . One party is called "I" , another is "me "
"I" will talk to "me" .
There will always have debate between "i" and "me" over what should Cheryl do , and how should she behave .
Should she do what she think she needs to do ? Or She should act according how others tells her to ?

Its really tough to be nice person because u are trying to live up to other's expectations and at the same time , you try not to let yourself down too .

2011-01-03T01:40:00.003+08:00

=(

As u can see , this is my mood until marketing test is over .
Instead of complaining all the time , i should stop procrastinating and start doing work .
But , WTH i left so much more .
Looking at the stack of notes , it demoralize me and unmotivates me to read them .
Sighhh..
I tried as hard as i could and gather all my energy to just to read them but nothing gets into my brain . Its like , "ok ok i memorize it liao" , the next moment , "ehhhh , this definition sounds familiar .... "
Sigghhh , i feel dumb really . Its like because im dumb thats why i have to work doubly hard . Even if i work doubly hard , other ppl who never study can still fare better than me . ( The most zek ark part )
im sad =(
But one thing is for sure , i did try to study , but its just not working well .
Sometimes i think i bother you too much , i should not bother you so often .
I feel guilty for like disturbing you all the time . I should like do things on my own .

=(

2010-12-29T23:57:00.002+08:00

I dont like the feeling of having so much to study . Its supposed to be a break !
My New year is going to be spent with the notes .
=( I still got like wad ? 6 huge effing chapters to go . My test is on next tuesday . Wtf .
Im in a state where im lost and frustrated . Nothing can calm me down now .
I feel like crying . I can feel the tears now .
I feel like disappearing from this world and hide in my mini-hole under the earth .

2010-12-29T01:19:00.002+08:00

Somehow i cant help but to think that , im just a replacement for that few days .
And Bye Bye . Im gone .
Im not needed anymore .
Things werent the same anymore .
I'm not the only one changing .
You asked me why i didnt asked you out all these time , but do u think im needed ?
Its not that i dont ask you out , do you remember what were your replies ?
Packed schedules , others .
You have already re-organize your life without me ,
because i'm not a friend anymore .
Im just an accquiantance to you . Im just a wee bit better than a stranger .

Sometimes it just hurt me that much . Im listening to the incidents like im not involved anymore . You assumed that im busy with school stuff and people . Just like that .
Assumptions .
Maybe im just being drama , maybe you think thats not true . Stop the denial . Its happening.

2010-12-26T03:56:00.002+08:00

Its just not me to say such kind of things .
I find it difficult to admit that i miss you .

2010-12-25T03:53:00.001+08:00

Sighhh .... There are a lot of things i have not touch or study yet .
And its Christmas .
I think i will ended up spending my christmas at home or at Esplanade .
Sigghhh ....

2010-12-25T01:26:00.000+08:00

Sad Christmas .

2010-12-23T01:55:00.000+08:00

Overly dependent on a person isnt a good thing .

2010-12-21T21:03:00.002+08:00

Woahhh ... If this is my house , i will be damn happy this christmas .
Imagine imagine , it is snowing outside the house !!! Build a super big snowman .... AND slide down the hill !
Imagine imagine got a super big feast ... I think i will be smiling the whole day .
And and and presents under the tree !
Ahhhhhh .... Ideal christmas !

2010-12-18T00:09:00.002+08:00

Ok .... Maybe got a bit of christmas mood liao .... This is damn nice ....

If people sing this to me during christmas , i will hug them and say merry christmas . LOL

Kk .... I doubt i will do that . Thats like crazy .

Ahhh .... Suddenly this song sounds soooooo awesome !

2010-12-17T22:02:00.003+08:00

It's december now and Christmas is like next week ?
Yet , the mood for christmas is not there ?
By right , december should be the happiest month due to Christmas and New Year , but im not happy .
I still have to study for tests , assignments and do some catching up . If not when school starts , cui again .
There is marketing test on 4 jan ..... We have to study like 7 chapters .
It's Christmas It's Christmas ! Argghhhhh .... We dont get to enjoy it .
=(

Emo sia .... 2 weeks of break is not like a break .
If we dont have test or assignments , i would have do such things during the break :

Ton at marina barrage and look at the night sky .
Take photos of the christmas lightings on the streets .
Snow City !
Picnic Picnic !
Sleepover at friend's house
CHRISTMAS PARTY !!!
Random walk all over Singapore .
Eat nice nice cakes in the afternoon at a cafe during weekdays .
Watch some random performance @ esplanade
Jam and sing @studio .

Sian ....... I hate school sometimes .

2010-12-17T21:02:00.000+08:00

I'm just an extra .

2010-12-17T00:50:00.002+08:00

Never be greedy , be content with what you have , Cheryl .

2010-12-15T01:37:00.000+08:00

我想学唱这首歌。

2010-12-13T22:21:00.002+08:00

I think i might have dropped my heart somewhere .
I can't find it .
Can someone teach me how to show care and concern for mankind ?

2010-12-10T01:18:00.001+08:00

I hope i can hide in a dark corner so that no one can find me .
Someday , somehow , i will get sucked inside some black hole , never to return again .

2010-12-09T21:59:00.001+08:00

POA is bloody irritating .

I still got to study sociology chapter 4 = 2 chapters of the syllabus . Monday
And marketing 3 chapters . Tuesday .
FML .

2010-12-08T23:25:00.002+08:00

Pain Pain ! =(

Watched Hello Stranger ....
The girl is like damn sad la .....
She had done so much things yet the outcome wasnt what she wanted .
But the show is funny though .

2010-12-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

Nice song by Alyssa Bernal

2010-12-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

Can anybody watch Hello Stranger with me pls ?

2010-12-03T23:12:00.002+08:00

Met up with the girls today .... Glad to see them after lesson . They are still as bitchy as ever but fun to have them around . Thank you for the presents ...
The soft toys are cute .... But i cant open the bag of teddy bear yet ! Im going to bring back to my own house first , before i can hug it like its mine .
I have to thank mels for the present , its like a savior for my awful skin condition .....
Now , im broke . Super broke ( if i really buy iphone or galaxy ) , but im happy =)

2010-12-03T01:22:00.002+08:00

I think somehow i had lost something in my life .

Gradually .

I dont feel and empathize for people and stuff anymore .

I dont feel the pain for them , the misery of others .

I could only stare blankly at them , at most , i would think about solutions for the problems of the people .

Most of the time , other people come up with better ideas . Im of no help to them .

I rather keep quiet and walk away , since i cant help anyway .

2010-12-03T01:10:00.002+08:00

I wont know how important i am to you unless you show it .
I am not psychic , i cant read minds .
There is nothing stopping you , thats what you assumed in the first place.
The behavior and things u do doesnt show anything but distance between us .
The gap is wider as time passes .
You do know that .

2010-12-03T00:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes there are things that people do will annoy you badly .
Well , i hate it when people step on my shoes , no matter if it is an accident or on purpose , my initial reaction is to glare at them .
Then in my head , i will be like ," AHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!! YOU STEPPED ON MY SHOE !" going around in my mind .
At that moment in time , i hope that i can slap that person for once.

Yesterday while watching Rapunzel in the cinema , some stupid guy just stepped on my foot , and thats not enough , he continued to step on my feet without realising anything . He continued walking like nothing had happened . Wth ! My white shoe ! I just had it washed the day before and today someone just stepped on it without apologising . Arrggh ! I hope i can shoot him in the head . =.=

2010-12-02T01:14:00.002+08:00

There is a marketing test like one week or 2 weeks later ?
There is Sociology test ?
There is marketing test on the start of school .

Like WTF ? I cant even enjoy my holiday . =(

Cheryl yong ! You Should NOT SLACK !

2010-11-24T22:20:00.000+08:00

emo liao .

2010-11-23T23:40:00.001+08:00

I dont feel well emotionally .
I need hugs but ive got no one .
I feel like eating nice food to cheer myself on .

I hate assignments really .

C.N Blue =)

2010-11-20T23:33:00.001+08:00

My definition of Chio Bu

2010-11-20T02:01:00.002+08:00

My definition of Chio Bu ....

Like imagine , in your dream , you see a girl standing by the lake or in front of the ocean , doing nothing but just stand there and stare at the horizon ( if you are talking about the sea or ocean ) .

In this dream , my chio bu will wear a dress like that :

Then arh ....

The girl right can either have short simple bob or long long wavy hair ... When the wind blows right , the hair will like sway through the breeze or something ....

Ahhhh Damn chio ....

Then then , if you talk to her , she will speak softly that kind ...

Then then , the best thing is that she likes to draw or able to play classical piece ....

Then is like PWHOAR !

My type of chio bu .

Last Hour Of Being a 19 Year Old ...

2010-11-15T22:49:00.002+08:00

Its like 1 hour and 10 min more to 20 .
Its like im just a step away from adulthood .... 1 year more .
There is this fear in me .
Why cant we remain young and cheerful ? Why does humans have to age ? Why ?! WHY ?!
No , i don't wanna grow old . I wanna stay this way forever .
Because when i step into 21 , troubles and misery will come after me ....
Its like i will start worrying about future job ... I will start worrying about my family ? I will start wondering about my life and stuff like that .... Gradually , people whom are so close in your life currently will leave you soon . I will miss them .
I dont want that to happen ....
There are so many things that i wanna say but i cant express myself ....

Nvm ....

Being an upcoming 20 year old ....
I shall set some goals in this one year ....

Be a sensitive person ( Be more sensitive and listen to what ppl say )
Be a hardworking girl ( Study study study !)
Cherish what you have now
早点回家
Read more books
Dont be such a pessimist
Dont doubt others
Earn more $$$ ( To achieve some secret goal of mine )
I wanna write some cute songs so that i can sing it to myself
I wanna improve my vocals
I wanna have unlimited wishes so that i can wish my whole life round .

AHHH .... This feeling is so confusing .... Is that the feeling of reluctance to grow up ?

It seems that i didnt set any goals in my life ... I mean MAJOR goals . It feels like im lost , no sense of direction ... This feeling of uncertainty sucks .

Maybe Max Weber is right about modern society ... We are stuck in the iron cage and have nowhere to escape . I think im in the state of anomie .... Im lost without goals . People always say by setting goals is like setting rules .... Goals is like a driving force so that you are more motivated to live your life , isnt it ? Im lost without it .

Im talking nonsense again =.=

樱桃帮

2010-11-12T01:06:00.003+08:00

不, 我不是很台 !
也没有很喜欢这首歌,
我欣赏的是她们的态度 !

2010-11-09T02:04:00.002+08:00

It doesnt matter who i am ,
I'm just a nobody to you .

2010-11-09T01:43:00.001+08:00

Can anybody tell me how to empty my brain ?

Make myself faint ?
Bang the wall ?
Busy myself till i fall asleep everyday ?

How to clear all the stupid thoughts ?

2010-11-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

2010-11-08T20:26:00.002+08:00

是？不是？

我想我可能误会了。
其实自己有双重性格，但浑然不知。
所以这一切只是空幻想。所以，我应该醒来了，
对吗？
这一切都是白日梦，感觉还满真实的。
我应该醒来了。

是与不是？
这个问题仿佛在脑海里反复的重问。。。

这感觉就像是长长的发丝慢慢，慢慢的将我脑袋瓜儿缠绕。。。
然后，发丝越长越长，渐渐把我吞噬了。
我就这样，消失了。
我还能跑掉吗？我逃的出去吗？

有时侯，我希望混乱的脑袋能闭嘴，还我原本属于我的平静。

2010-11-05T23:21:00.001+08:00

I feel like an outsider now . I dont belong anywhere . I dont think it matters anymore .

Message ...

2010-11-05T01:26:00.001+08:00

Beepppp Beeeppp Beeeppp ...... BEEEEPPPPPP!
Sometimes is just super difficult to talk to you . There is no time .

2010-10-31T01:22:00.000+08:00

=( Boo !

2010-10-30T03:39:00.002+08:00

Why do i have the feeling that my eyesight have gone from bad to worse ?
I cant see anything clearly anymore .
Eyebags have gone from bad to worse too .
This feeling sucks .
I hope im being paranoid .

2010-10-30T01:34:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i feel that i should shut my mouth and stop talking .
The more i speak , the worse it gets .
I did nothing but make people sad only .

2010-10-30T00:19:00.001+08:00

It is always this timing when my mind travels back to the past ...

2010-10-28T02:47:00.002+08:00

Study or sleep ?

Study or sleep ?

Study or sleep ?

I cant seem to decide .

If i sleep , i will wake up earlier and study tml . But im afraid that i do not haven enough time .
If i study now , i will feel sleepy , but at least im touching books so i wont feel so guilty ...

Should i study or sleep ?

Arghhh .... Tough decision .

Pek chek .... Sometimes i wish that we could be more honest ...

Cute and Adorable !!!

2010-10-27T00:32:00.002+08:00

Was browsing facebook when i saw this .....

Manson Moon !!!

Ahhh ! So cute and adorable =)

He is suuuper cute la ! Look at his eyes ! Big and innocent !

Now i observe abit longer , he looks like kim bum the infant version ... LOL !

Cute stuff !

2010-10-26T23:34:00.001+08:00

This is confusing .... =.= ""

2010-10-22T09:10:00.002+08:00

Arghhh ....

I dont know why , this week doesnt seem so busy to me .
But it feels like im not doing any studying or any homework .
Im not happy !
I think i shall go self study alone . =.="

2010-10-20T23:07:00.001+08:00

Super Cute ! I saw someone using this kind of bottle in class ... Somemore is shrek !!

Its like sooo cute ....

Potion bottle ! LOL

Weird Dream

2010-10-20T22:55:00.003+08:00

I dreamt the worse nightmare ever .

I dreamt that i lost a tooth =(

I look super cui =(

Wah if that really happens ( CHOI !) , I will cry all day long =(

Look so cui and ugly , then i cannot eat good food =(

I will rather stay at home eat bread if that happens ....

NOOOO ! I dont want it to happen to me =(

Oh ya ~

2010-10-18T00:26:00.002+08:00

Hahaha !

I had a serious discussion with Xueting and Py , i found out that im actually cold towards people .
Now that they said so , i think maybe its true .
I don't realise it .
This "coldness" had been with me for my whole 20 years , its like part of my character , i didnt realise that i had hurt them in a way or another .

Im not a "feeling" kind of person , i dont give hugs and say kind words to people when they are sad . I dont grow up in such an environment . But that doesnt mean that i dont care , its just that i dont express it the way other people do . Also , im afraid to say wrong things and make people even more emotional . I would feel guilty if such things happen . I would rather keep quiet and stay by their side . To me , i believe that by just staying by their side , is like really giving them moral support , rather than telling them kind words and knowing that some things wont go the way they want it to . Although kind words really sounds nice and keep the hopes up .

I dont go with the flow , i dont compromise with people , if i really really want to do something .
For example , if people want to eat Pizza , but i wanna eat popiah , i would rather leave the group and get popiah on my own .

Judging from the way i speak and the tone of it , i may sound fierce and unfriendly or even impatient . That is just my normal reaction . If i really hate someone , i wont even bother to talk to him or her .

Ahhh , i really dont know how to change myself .